I know not many check here much anymore...but going into 2011 I'd like to get back in the habit of regular blogging...lets see if that's a resolution I can keep. I made this video of my blessings...I havent had time in years to scrapbook so Im trying to make myself a small slideshow of each year to help me keep up. the photos get all distorted from upload....but you get the idea, I think!
Looking back over this year, I cannot believe the changes we have gone through...some challenges and some life-changing events. I moved home! What was I thinking? Well, actually, that's what I thought for the few weeks leading up to the move and I'll admit, as we transitioned over to our new/old town, I had many sleepless nights about this move! 1. Wondering if I'd like being "close" in proximity to my family - everyone knows that can go either way! 2. The people ARE different - only 15 minutes away but the mindset is different - just not sure if its me or them! 3. Did I truly make a choice that was in the BEST interest of my children?
I find myself talking to God more than ever lately and just hoping He helps me along. It sounds funny typing that...I haven't been to church in over a year! I don't believe you find God in church. He's in MY heart and that's the only place I need for him to be. I didn't start feeling that way a year ago....It started 21 years ago when my dad died. I mourned for months...nah, more like I hated God....for months! Seriously, we were five children (I was the oldest at 19) and my mom already worked so hard for our family...how could He burden her by taking my dad away too? It was so unfair...that's when I learned it really CAN happen to you....and life is what you make of it....each and every day! That is the most negative thing I will say about my dad's passing - I miss him very much - but I promised myself all those years ago that I would maintain a bettter outlook on all things that affected who I am today and I refuse to dwell.....
I have bad days like everyone else....but I sure do try to stop myself in those hard moments and think about the choices I have......life's too short to spend any time stressing about things I can't change!! Its a GIFT to feel that way - a gift God gave ME when he chose to take my dad too soon.
I'm moving on now - getting through the growing pains of the move. Cameron isn't settled yet. He still is in the misfit stage and I think it might be next year when he's in a bigger pool of kids for him to find he's home. Im not sure if I mentioned it before here or not.....but I love my new home!! Its cozy and feels just right for us. My heart is definately happy here!
G'night friends!
~kel~
